Want to get to know me better, but frustrated by my taciturn nature? Fine. Here is everything you need to know about me in convenient list form.
the ideal person to you, what three things would they smell of?
Cloves. New Picture Book. Bounce dryer sheets.
what type of fairy creature would you think lived in your house?
The kind who didn’t understand the “fairy” part of fairy dust, and just flitted around dumping regular dust all over everything.
what is your most otherworldly feature?
It’s a toss-up between my uncanny philtrum and my ineffable pancreas.
if you were a monarch, what would your crown be crafted of?
Mixed-media assemblage of decoupage, outdated chinese take-out menus, tiny bells and glitter.
if you had to carry a gemstone under your tongue at all times, what would it be?
Opal. It looks delicious.
what book would you hide a knife inside?
Vol. 2 of Pepys’ Diary. Vol. 1 is too obvious.
what class of angel would you be a part of?
Probably Ophanim. Because who doesn’t want to be a wheel-within-a-wheel, the rims covered in hundreds of eyes? Only idiots, that’s who. VROOM VROOM I’M AN OPHANIM!
what three items will you need when your family waves goodbye to you and sends you into the sea?
Scissors. Horn of Gondor. Garlic press.
what is a fairy-tale which runs parallel to your life?
I hadn’t realized there was a precedent for living in a mobile domicile on chicken legs fenced in by posts made of human bones, but apparently Baba Yaga did it first.
if your body is a swarm or a plague, of what?
I am a plague of wisdom you never wanted to have. A swarm of secrets you wish would remain unspoken. An epidemic of knowledge better left undiscovered. And right now I’d like some hot chocolate.