So Ardala did that thing. And I found out I could get a loan to help cover her surgery. Her recovery has gone really well, my economic recovery has been… interesting. I will learn financial discipline one way or the other, and it looks like “The Hard Way” is the path chosen for me. Also, I have a new car now. So a goodly amount of useful debt (and I do consider keeping my dog healthy and painfree, and giving myself a bit of independence to be “useful”) seems to be the order of the day.
There has been much rumination on the role of shame, its roots in poverty and the ability to recover over the last few weeks. I’m trying to organize my thoughts along those lines, but as I only recently became able to look directly at my bank account without my fingers in front of my eyes (you think I’m kidding?) it may take a nice carb-laden meal and a glass of wine before I can tackle it with the honesty it deserves. Until then… back to normalcy.